Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a rare mental illness that affects an estimated 1.5% of people worldwide. Naturally, it has a lot of stigma against it. We think that we forget that people with D.I.D are simply, people with D.I.D. D.I.D is a part of them. Not the whole. Let's end the stigma one story at a time.
DIDecipher always struggled with their mental health. They knew something wasn't right, but they had always attributed it to being stressed or depressed. DIDecipher explains that “I started losing more and more from my daily life and realized how severe my forgetfulness was and that I wasn't just "daydreaming." When they received their diagnosis, they were both relieved and scared. they were glad that they knew what was "wrong" with me but, they would've much rather had something that could be treated and didn't equate to being severely abused. Additionally, it took some time for DIDecipher to accept their diagnosis. It's not always easy. Before their diagnosis, they didn't know what triggered them or that they were even triggered in the first place. Now they know their triggers and are better equipped to deal with them. For example, “One of my biggest comforts is my room where I'm able to retract back, and know it's a safe place for me.”
In school, they faced a bunch of challenges, especially related to homework and friends. They remember it was always a gamble trying to get work done even when they had it written down. With exams they’d struggle remembering the dates, and this reflected on my grades a lot. At one point, They even got back an exam they didn't remember taking, “that was a surprise.” DIDecipher said.
However, they did have 2 teachers who somehow always knew something was wrong. “They always tried to give me extra time, help and things like that. They were the only reason I graduated high school properly.”
With friends it also caused some issues because DIDecipher sometimes couldn't remember
things they told them or they forgot something they told them. They thought DIDecipher was lying or trying to gaslight them. To them, DIDecipher was inconsistent.
They’ve had 3 inpatient stays and saw another therapist for a while. Some professionals were very helpful and supportive, while others not so much. Their family, however, is unaware of their diagnoses, and they’d like to keep it that way. D.I.D is formed by an unsupportive environment, and they don't expect them to be supportive now. However, they have received a bunch of support from their friends, and more specifically their best friend (who was also the first person they told about their diagnosis.) She wasn't too surprised and simply said "it makes sense." Now DIDecipher’s friends are much more understanding and don't see them as inconsistent.
“I wish I knew earlier what DID was and that I had it, because I believe I would've gotten better grades, accommodations, ect.” They announced. They also wish they would've known how to cope with symptoms (such as amnesia and CPTSD) sooner. Their perspective on mental health has definitely been shaped by studying psychology; they do not see mental health as entirely scientific or entirely humanistic. It's a mix of both. Mental health is a response to environment and onset. As for their identity, they mainly identify with legal data such as (name, age, birthday ect.) However, they sometimes identify with their "own name" or age that they experience themself.
Their final words?, DIDecipher would like to encourage everyone to reach out for help. Someone does care and a solution is always available.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and touching our hearts! You are proof it does get better, and you’ll inspire many to come.
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