How Positive Behaviours Influence Emotional Intelligence Development in Children
- whereemotionsflow
- Nov 8, 2024
- 5 min read
By: Aisha Siyal
Abstract
In early formative years, Children pick up cues from their environment, learn how to
solve problems, build habits, behaviors, emotional regulation, responses to stress, and general functioning. The environment created through patterns of behaviors and interactions plays a crucial role in fostering emotional intelligence (EI) in young children. Children learn how to understand and manage their emotions by the way adults model and support emotional
development.
What is emotional intelligence?
We define emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and understand, influence, and impact the emotions of others. The term emotional intelligence was created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer, in their article “Emotional Intelligence” in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990.
In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact people (positively and negatively) and learning how to regulate and manage those emotions - both our own and others.
At a personal level, emotional intelligence helps us:
● Having uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings
● Self-regulation, managing our emotions when stressed or overwhelmed
● Improving relationships with people we care about
● Building psychological safety and connecting with people
● Creating a stable and supportive environment for children to thrive
Its influence on young children
Positive behaviours that develop and enhance emotional intelligence in young children typically revolve around self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy and social skills such as nonverbal communication awareness, adaptability validation, etc. All of which can be nurtured through intentional behaviours by parents and educators. Emotionally intelligent adults contribute significantly to a child's learning environment. These practices not only develop EI but also shape how Children interpret, react and respond to different situations. Children who are exposed to various ways how to manage their emotions and are guided in emotional regulation are more likely to act thoughtfully rather than impulsively. Enhancing Their
social interactions, connections and academic performance. As much as kids need access to. Emotional Intelligence practices, we also need emotionally intelligent adults –especially those involved in childhood development and education, such as parents and teachers- who are in the best position to nurture emotional intelligence in children. Parents and teachers experience a lot of daily stress that can lead to internal suffering and burnout when it accumulates. Stress can damage the relationships we have with ourselves and with others, including the relationships parents have with their kids and teachers have with their students. A lack of self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, or relationship management leads to emotional dysfunction and hinders us from having fulfilling relationships.
Specific Positive Behaviours That Impact EI Development In Young Children:
Emotion perception is evident within the first few days of life and there is a clear developmental sequence for recognising different emotions. By modelling emotional awareness, adults provide a clear blueprint for understanding and managing their emotions, fostering emotional intelligence. What distinguishes an emotionally intelligent parent or a teacher? They understand, value, respect, and use their emotions to solve problems and make decisions and
help children do the same. Know how to regulate their stress and manage their uncomfortable emotions and help children do the same Know how to focus on and use pleasant emotions to teach more efficiently, motivate themselves, and inspire children to learn. Understand their capabilities and recognize their strengths and weaknesses while being able to spot and shed light on children’s strengths and areas of improvement. Are able to build strong and supportive relationships through trust, respect, and care. Empathetically negotiate solutions to conflicts involving children. Understand and respect others’ emotions, perspectives, and opinions. Set firm but respectful boundaries with children. Some of them are discussed below:
1. Modelling Emotional Awareness
● Adult behaviour: positive reinforcement of emotional intelligence when, for
instance, an adult comes home after a long day at work frustrated. Instead of
bubbling up emotions and snapping, they sit down and say “I'm feeling really
tired and frustrated right now because I had a difficult day at work, I'm
going take a few breaths to calm down”
● Child's interpretation: By demonstrating self-awareness children learn to
identify the emotional states of others as well as their own
they begin to understand emotions are manageable and not something to fear or
ignore. 2. Verbalising emotions and thoughts
● Adult behaviour:
Verbalising feelings and thoughts, naming emotions and reflecting on behaviours
help develop introspection and awareness in children
E.g., “You seem upset; are you feeling sad because your toy broke?”
● Child's interpretation:
The child observes that the parent can recognize and label emotions calmly and
also that these are normal emotions that can be Managed through conscious
Actions. Over time the child develops emotional regulation skills and a healthy
understanding of how to handle negative emotions productively.
3. Positive reinforcement of emotional expression
● Adult behaviour:
Avoiding aggression and passive behavior behaviour; providing children with
opportunities to express emotions and feelings openly. Praising children when
they express or handle their emotions well instead of closing off and yelling at
them helps build a safe environment. E.g, “I’m proud of how you handled that
well”
● Child's interpretation:
Children feel encouraged to express their emotions healthily. They feel secure and
more willing to explore as they know they will be responded to consistently.
Offering a stable environment where emotions are discussed freely and
respectfully. Reinforcing positive emotional behaviours helps them trust their
emotional responses, be confident in navigating their feelings and learn how to
react appropriately in different situations.
4. Encouraging empathy
Mindfulness, often defined as the ability to remain present and aware without
judgement, is deeply connected to emotional intelligence. When children learn to
recognize and consider the emotions of others, they activate neural pathways in
the brain associated with empathy and theory of mind. Theory of mind is the
cognitive ability to attribute mental states, such as beliefs and emotions, to oneself
and others. This understanding of others' perspectives relies heavily on the
prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like
emotional regulation and problem-solving.
Moreover, tolerating differences in others helps children build cognitive
flexibility—the capacity to adapt one’s thinking and behaviour in response to new
information or changing circumstances. Studies in developmental psychology
suggest that children who practise cognitive flexibility are better equipped to cope
with setbacks, as they are more capable of adjusting their emotional and
behavioural responses. This adaptability is linked to the brain’s ability to engage
in "cognitive shifting," the process of re-evaluating and altering strategies based
on new information or challenges. Ultimately, these practices—empathy, patience, tolerance, and flexibility—support the development of resilience. Children learn that setbacks or differences don’t need to be met with frustration or resistance but can be opportunities for growth, understanding, and learning. This mindset builds
emotional resilience, enhancing their ability to thrive in diverse environments
throughout their lives.
5. Helping manage emotions and claiming techniques
Claiming techniques, such as portraying calmness and managing emotional
responses, are vital tools in creating a stable environment, particularly when working
with children. When adults remain composed, even in stressful situations, they model emotional regulation, a key component of social-emotional development in children. From a psychological perspective, the ability to stay calm engages the prefrontal cortex, the brain region responsible for executive functions like decision-making and impulse control. When we portray calmness, we reduce the likelihood of triggering a child’s amygdala—the brain's alarm system responsible for the "fight or flight" response. This not only soothes the immediate emotional state of the child but also teaches them how to self-regulate over time. Repeated exposure to these calming techniques can help children develop their coping mechanisms, fostering resilience and emotional intelligence. By managing our own emotions, we are, in essence, co-regulating with the child, creating a ripple effect where they learn to control their reactions in difficult situations.
References
1. M. Zeidner,. (2003). What is Emotional intelligence? Daniel Goleman- IHHP
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2. The Journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality in 1990.
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3. M. Zeidner, O. (2003). Development of emotional intelligence-
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4. Research gate.net, (2018). Environmental influences on emotional intelligence in young
people.
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