Impact of parents neglecting adolescents opinion and problems

By Rena Zalavadiya 

Introduction 

Adolescents and parents often get into conflicts because parents fail to listen to their children. Most parents blame their kids for not opening up to them and not sharing daily life problems or events but they forget that when the kid tries, they shut them off. Parents often overlook their kids' opinions or problems, causing kids to bottle up all their emotions inside themselves. This causes kids to cut off connection with their parents often when they get the chance to because of parent’s neglect. Parents mainly think that what they are doing is what is best for their kids but most of the time, they forget that they have to listen to their kids and have to consider their opinions before taking action. 

Why is neglect caused? (Webb,2022) 

- Generational neglect: Many times neglect is caused because of the generational trauma where their parents didn’t take their feelings or opinions into consideration causing it to be passed down to their kids as they don’t think that it is wrong. 

- Busy/Struggling with their life: Sometimes parents are too busy working or trying to get their life together that they forget about the kids and ignore them unknowingly. In times like getting a divorce or someone passing away or even depression, parents forget that they also have a responsibility to be there for their kids so coincidentally the kids are neglected. 

- Controlling parents: Parents often try to control their kid’s life so that they can live the “best” life and so the kid can experience things that they didn’t get to, but the kid could have a whole different way of living his best life and parents tend to force the kid into doing things that he/she doesn’t want to. This causes the kid to never be able to voice their opinions as they know they don’t have a choice in the matter. 

Signs of neglect (Tompkins, 2021) 

- You tend to not tell them about anything unless they bring it up first 

- You try to avoid them as much as possible 

- You keep your answers short when they ask you about things 

- You feel angry at them from time to time 

- Symptoms: depression, anxiety, no motivation to succeed, hyperactivity, aggression 

Impacts (McBride, 2017) 

- Huge Barriers: Children later on have a hard time opening up to people and often can’t become close to others. Most times, they push others away when they get close as they think that they are annoying them. 

- Feel guilt: whenever children do talk about their feelings or opinions they start to feel guilty about opening up and think that it is a problem and that the others won’t like them if they do. 

- Oversharing: Sometimes neglect causes a kid to overshare with strangers as there is finally someone who will listen to them and talk about it with them.

- Low self-esteem: Kids might feel like they aren’t lovable and feel incomplete. They often don’t have any confidence in themselves as they think that they will be put down if they voice out their ideas on things. (Holland, 2019) 

Conclusion 

Parents should be their for their kids and always be open to what the kids has to say. Kids should also know that sometimes it isn’t their parents fault that you are feeling that way. Learn how to talk about your feelings and try to talk to your parents about how you are feeling neglected by them so that they know how to change and help you not feel neglected.Parents should also ask their kids about their opinion on a situation that involves them so that the kid doesn’t feel neglected. Overall, parents are responsible for making their kids feel comfortable and confident in what they have to say as they are the ones who kids rely on most of their lives. 

References 

Holland, K. (2019, November 25). Childhood Emotional Neglect: What It Is, and How It Can Affect You. Healthline. 

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/childhood-emotional-neglect#effects-in adulthood 

McBride, K. (2017). The Long-Term Impact of Neglectful Parents. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-of-distorted-love/201708/the-long-t erm-impact-of-neglectful-parents?msockid=366ed152b90d67fa2025c22fb87f66a9 

Tompkins, C. (2021). Neglect Changes the Brain: Neglect 101 | AZAFAP. Azafap.org. https://www.azafap.org/thoughts-for-families/neglect-changes-the-brain-neglect-101/?ms clkid=87e347f63a1b19890b7820bece71086a&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&ut m_campaign=AZAFAP%20-%20Blog%20(US)&utm_term=child%20emotionally%20negl ected&utm_content=Childhood%20Emotional%20Neglect 

Webb, J. (2022, February 27). 16 “Tells” That Your Parents May Be Emotionally Neglectful | Psychology Today. Www.psychologytoday.com. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202202/16-tells-y our-parents-may-be-emotionally-neglectful