Parentification and Its Impact On Teenagers
- whereemotionsflow
- Nov 19, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 27, 2024
Abstract
When young people are forced to take up responsibilities that mimic those of parents or developmentally inappropriate responsibilities, it's referred to as parentification, spousification, adultification, or role reversal. Parentified teenagers are expected to become pseudo-adults or pseudo-parents before they are ready cognitively and physiologically to assume these responsibilities. This can include being a caregiver, an earning member, an emotional supporter for family members, language and culture broker, among other roles. (Shek, 2023) .
Parentification can have many dimensions, such as having to care for your siblings beyond the responsibilities that come with growing up, a confidant for a parent who is mentally ill, or someone who has to earn money for the family. It has been found that parentification leads to external and internal problems, caused by increased stress. (Van Loon et al., 2017) .
While teenagers are given some responsibilities as they grow up, in a healthy environment, they are likely to be controlled and supervised to a certain extent. However, this becomes pathological when they feel that they need to keep on these parental responsibilities to maintain the structural balance of their family. (Hopper, 2007a).
Types of Parentification
Parentification can be of two types- instrumental and emotional. Instrumental parentification often refers to the act of taking on more ‘practical’ responsibilities, while emotional parentification looks like emotionally supporting your parents.
Instrumental parentification can look like doing an excessive amount of household chores, taking care of siblings, serving as the translator in the family, or having to take care of a sick family member. Emotional parentification looks like being the mediator, especially for parents with bad marriages, and providing emotional support and comfort.
There are also other ways of classifying parentification. Adaptive parentification is for shorter periods and is done to accommodate sudden events. Meanwhile, destructive parentification is long-term and ongoing. It has been referred to as a constant violation of intergenerational boundaries by Gregory J. Jurkovic.
In addition, parentification can be focused on parents or guardians, but it can also be towards siblings. (Anonymous, 2022)
Signs of Parentification
Often, certain signs are visible across people who have been parentified. These can include an added sense of responsibility, trouble with letting loose, or feeling like you need to be in control. In addition, one may become more self-reliant or hyper-independent, and take on the role of the peacemaker or caregiver without realizing it. (Goodman, 2020) All of these signs are ultimately a depiction of the negative effects that parentification has on teenagers.
Long-term and Short-term Impacts of Parentification
Parentification often leads to stress and anxiety. This is caused by the additional burden that such adolescents have to take on. Teenagers may struggle to connect with and understand their feelings, as they have to put them aside due to their responsibilities. They may feel guilty or blame themselves when things beyond their control go wrong. They may feel a sense of having lost their childhood, and this may be exacerbated by a decreased enjoyment in participating with peers due to curtailed development. They are more likely to engage in substance abuse or get into harmful relationships, and may also act disruptively, especially as younger children
Long-term effects look like negative relationships formed due to insecure attachment with their parents, giving them a skewed outlook on how relationships are supposed to look like, and how one should deal with problems and engage with the other person in a healthy manner.
(Lewis, 2021) This can also lead to long-term stress and anxiety, which can give way to a host of other physical issues. (Anonymous, 2023) They may bury their emotions and have trouble healthily expressing them. (Lo, n.d.)
Healing from Parentification
To heal from the effects of parentification, one must acknowledge its effects and how it happened. This can be done through understanding the signs and symptoms you exhibit, as well as any negative impact you feel on yourself as a result. Once this is done, coping mechanisms and tools for growth need to be adopted, such as setting boundaries and doing so in a healthy manner. (Gillis, 2024) Seeking therapy or other such support tools can also prove to be beneficial, and help overcome the impacts of parentification.
References
Hooper, L. M. (2007a). The application of attachment theory and family systems theory to the phenomena of parentification. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 15, 217-233. doi:10.1177/1066480707301290
Dariotis, J. K., Chen, F. R., Park, Y. R., Nowak, M. K., French, K. M., & Codamon, A. M. (2023). Parentification Vulnerability, Reactivity, Resilience, and Thriving: A Mixed Methods Systematic Literature Review. International journal of environmental research and public health, 20(13), 6197. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20136197
Van Loon, L. M., Van de Ven, M. O., Van Doesum, K. T., Hosman, C. M., & Witteman, C. L. (2017). Parentification, Stress, and Problem Behavior of Adolescents who have a Parent with Mental Health Problems. Family Process, 56(1), 141–153. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12165
Goodman, W. (2020). 14 Signs You Were Paretified as a Child. PsychologyToday. Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/healing-together/202001/14-signs-you-were parentified-as-a-child
Anonymous (2022). What is Parentification? Signs of a Parentified Child. Newport Academy. Retrieved from
Lewis, R. (2021). What is Parentification? Healthline. Retrieved from
Anonymous (2023) Parentification Trauma: What it is and How to Heal. Charlie Health. Retrieved from
Gillis, K. (2024). 3 Steps to Begin Healing from Parentification. PsychologyToday. Retrieved from
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